I'm into BDSM but my spouse isn't. How can I introduce it to him without freaking him out?
If you're into BDSM and you don't know if your spouse is into it or not, you can introduce it to him in a casual conversation (And I would use 'kinky' as opposed to 'BDSM' so that it doesn't sound too scary and different). I would approach it with lighter BDSM behavior in mind, like spanking, as a start to see what how he feels about it. For instance, you might say, "have you ever thought about spanking me? Or maybe even me spanking you?" You could also approach it as a role-play situation where both of you come up with various situations and maybe you could pretend to be a dominatrix, while he is your willing submissive. You can also email us and ask for the "Erotic Activity Sheet" where you can discuss certain terms with him to see if he's interested. Another suggestion is watching Tristan Taormino's Guide to Kinky Sex for Couples DVD as an educational porn and approaching it nice and softly that way.
Let me know how the conversation goes! And good luck!!
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When and where is the B sense of erotic awareness?Velvet Lips responded on 04/04/2014